Monday, October 22, 2012

moments in the mommyhood - tissues anyone?


today is just gonna be one of those days where i wish i had bought stock in kleenex.  yep, the tissues are my best friend today. no - not a cold....worse....saying goodbyes.  i hate them.  i also dislike "see you laters" and all other sorts of goodbye greetings.  i especially dislike them when it comes to my parents and others whom i love dearly.  especially when they live far away and i only get to see them once or twice a year.  it's so hard.  so yes, today i'm letting myself just have free range of the kleenex box and allowing myself to not feel too guilty about it.

i'm very close with my parents and we've been so lucky to have them down visiting for almost a month.  it seriously was such a special thing to get to visit with them that long.  especially for the girls.  we got to have thanksgiving with them which i haven't had in like 12 years and many other fun moments to share like the birth of my new nephew (such a cutie pie!).  they got to stay in a house rental half way between my sister and i that was literally a 5 min drive for me.  it felt like old times.

i know some of you have prolly never dared to read my "about" page but i grew up in a very small town with almost all my family living there.  anytime you wanted to visit them you could walk there.  all my friends were within walking distance too.  so being in a city was a major culture shock for this northern bc gal.  it was so special to have that comfy feeling of being able to whip over to my folks place this month just to visit or stop by for coffee and let the girls run in the yard.  it was awesome to have those shoulders to lean on and those hours after school was out to visit and play.  it honestly became my fave part of the day instead of dreaded.

we're in a condo so yards are a gift to themselves these days.  so each day we were over there to visit, play and get spoiled.  we had gorgeous weather and lots of fun.  bonus is my mom is where i get most of my crafty gifts from so i got to wind her new yarn, talk quilty goodness and sewing fun too. she loves to go thrift shopping & had craft parties with the girls! yep...i'm gonna miss her.  she even drinks more coffee than i do..lol.. and the girls just loved having their opa (my dad) to play with, have tickle fights with and do his hair.  my omi (my grandma) was with them as well and it was so nice to get to spend so much time with her as well.

i could go on and on and i'm sure you can all relate somewhat to those people who are family (or like family) in your lives and how hard it is to say "see you later" when you know later is a long way off.  when later means phone calls instead of real hugs, when later means emails and pictures instead of hanging out in real time, when later means who knows when.

so i'm going to pray they get home safe and await the first phone call of many and hope that the "see you later" will be more like "see you soon".  i hope that one of these days everything will align and they will be down here for good instead of just visiting and that my hugs goodbye no longer have to be the hugs where you can't let go.  in the meantime i will bond with my kleenex, hug my babies and try to explain why nana, opa and omi had to go home & let my hubs tease me for crying so much.

- to my folks and my omi:
we love you and we'll miss you guys....come back soon.


anyone up for virtual hugs?  i could use a few and i know some of you are going through similar things or have loved ones away working or living far from home so let's console each other.  how do you make it that much easier on your wee ones when you have to say goodbye?  what do you do to stay in touch besides facetime and webcams?  tea's brewing and i've got a cozy couch...you up for a chat?

45 comments:

  1. Thanks for the heads up about the tissues! I also grew up in much the same way (although I still live the same place). My grandpa used to walk from house to house in the morning for a progressive breakfast (tea at one childs, toast at the next ect!)

    Gorgeous photos!

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    1. Thank you Palak. That's so sweet! I love that he had breakfast at all the houses!

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  2. HUGE hugs to you. xoxoxo saying goodbye has always been uber hard for me too! I haven't seen my mom in almost 2 years now :( living apart is hard for sure.... sending you the biggest hugs, mugs of tea and coffee, and armfuls of kleenex. oxoxoxox

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  3. I am sending you a million hugs because i know exactly how hard this is!! my mom has lived across the US for the last 10 years. We are best friends, talk everyday on the phone and only got to see each other 2 times a year. it is awful knowing that when i say goodbye to her when we visit in june that i don't know if we will be lucky enough to see her at christmas or if we have to wait a few months longer for her visit at my son's birthday. So i feel your pain. You never know what life will hold though, my mom just sold her house and is moving here in 18 days! (not that i am counting.) After 10 years apart, we finally get to be together all the time!!
    you are so lucky to have that month with your family and what is special about only seeing them sometimes is you never take being able to hug them for granted. Long distance is hard but i think when you have a good relationship, it isn't so bad. I know the long talks my mom and i had on the phone everyday will be gone because my son will want her time and she will want to snuggle the baby in my belly that will arrive in February. So while you don't have them to hug everyday, you still have the wonderful conversations and the effort that goes with showing someone you care about them no matter how far apart you are.
    So i am sending you lots of hugs and if i could send you extra tissues i would!

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    1. So excited to hear that your mom is moving to where you live!!!!!! How exciting!!!!! Congrats hun!! Big hugs to you too! And yes, I do enjoy my mom and I's long phone convos...lol. We have those all the time too. Thanks for sharing Kris.

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  4. Ohhh girl. Big hugs to you. I say go get the FANCY drink at Starbucks today - you deserve it! ;)

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  5. aww - I know exactly what you mean Shannon. Having family live so far away can be tough. I downright hate it sometimes :(

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  6. Oh sweetie - I'm sorry. It is SO hard when they leave....hang in there. So much love to you and remember how special it is to have that relationship with them. I'm always so jealous of people whose families are in town (and not just because of the free babysitting!) - but it is so much more special when you do get to see them.

    I was like you though....there was always a really sad day while I adjusted to them leaving.

    xoxoxo

    Christy

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  7. Oh hugs, I can't imagine living away from my parents. I second the vote for a fancy Starbucks for you! Which small northern town? I lived in Smithers for a year when I was a toddler :O It's where my dad grew up!

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  8. ((HUGS)) & kleenex to you! Sounds like a wonderful time w/ your fam.....with lots of laughs & warm fuzzies! My mom is only 45 min away, but I go mos w/o seeing her just cuz busyiness in both of our lives. But, it is nice to know that she is so close. I shouldn't take it for granted :) The pics of your girls are just lovely! I heart fall photos :)

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    1. Thanks so much Leigh Anne. Life does get busy..and you're right, it's nice that she is so close to you if you need her :)

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  9. I'm so glad you had such a wonderful time with your family. I'm very close with my parents, and even used to work in the same office with my dad, but I can't imagine how hard it is to go months in between visits. My best advice - print photos from your time together and get them displayed in your home!! Keep those happy memories vivid and close to you. Seeing them over and over again will remind you of how happy the last month has been.

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  10. I know how you feel! I live thousands of miles away from any of my immediate family... but regardless, 50 miles or 5,000 its all the same when you can't just walk down the road for a cuppa. Best make plans for the next visit, soon, its always good to have something to look forward to!

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    1. Good advice. I always count down from one visit to the next :) Wish I could pop round your place for a cuppa :)

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  11. Virtual hug coming your way!!!!!! Sounds like the time was not wasted one bit.....just like it should be! Love your fall photos......your girls look amazing :) You take all the time you need with your box of Kleenex! I totally know what you mean about your hubby teasing you about crying. Mine does the same thing when I am watching TV. Seems like since I have had my girls I have turned into a blubbery mess! LOL!

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    1. Me too! I cry over anything now. Mother hormones..lol. So emotional..lol. Thx for the hugs!

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  12. You don'T really know me, but I reckon that you won't mind a hug from a stranger? *hug* i have a boyfriend very far away and I can relate very well to missing people and not really knowing when you will next see them when you say goodbye. I wish you all the best and a lot of strength and a lot of comfort from your girls

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    1. Awwww...thanks for the hug! Guess that means we're not strangers anymore right? Hope you comment again sometime :) And also that you get to see your boyfriend really soon.

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    2. I guess not =) I've been following your blog for a while and i have to say i am so looking forward to having a daughter and sew a sweetheart dress for. she doesn't really have a say in this XD

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  13. Hey Shannon. I recently found your blog and am really loving it and am spending way too much time (at work! Eeek!) going through the archives.

    My sister, who is my best friend, lives 11 hours away and has two of the sweetest little girls I have ever known. I know you mentioned FaceTime, but I really love to call them around bed time so I can "be there" when my sister reads the bed time story. It makes me feel close the my nieces and vice versa. If not bed time, then maybe there is another special time of day that your girls would like to FaceTime chat with their nana, opa and omi. Just a thought.

    I hope you get over your good bye/see you later/see you soon blues soon!

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    1. Thanks for the kind words Suzy! So glad you are enjoying the blog! And what great tips! My mom/dad would love to do that!!! Hope you get to see your sister soon :)

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  14. I am sending you big hugs! My parents use to live 5 hours away and we didn't get to visit as often as we would have liked. Luckily 3 years ago they moved back in town and now they are just a 10 minute drive away. I so love that they are so close when I need a little pick me up or a hug. I so hope that day comes soon for you. In the meantime, I hope you have fun with those adorable little girls and get some snuggles in with your hubby too! Take care!

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  15. Hang in there, girl! The older I get the more I miss being close to family. i am so thankful that when my mom found out my love was going to be depl*yed again right away she said she was coming. She came for a week, and I am so glad she was here. We did get some knitting and fabric shpping in. :o). Gotta love moms. They are the best ever, and I thank God for every moment I get with mine, too.

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  16. BIG hugs hun!! i use good ole snail mail to keep in contact. it just seems more meaningful:) hang in there and hug those little girls, that always makes me feel better:)

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  17. Girl, I'm grabbing my tissues as well because my parents just left us today :( I was the same way, grew up around all of my family...still adjusting to all this moving stuff!!!! *hugs*

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  18. Sending love and hugs.. both my family and my inlaws live in Ontario and my hubby and I are in Haida Gwaii. We see them 2-3 times a year and I usually start crying about 3 days before the trip is even over. It is pretty bad. It's so so hard being away from them. I hope one day we all get connected. In the meantime, I am just thankful we are fortunate to see them as much as we do. We definitely cherish the time we do get with them.

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    1. Ohhhh...Haida Gwaii! Gorgeous there! Not the same but I'm from Kitimat and hearing Haida Gwaii makes me miss home :) I hope one day you get connected with your family again soon as well. I do the crying a few days before they leave as well. It's funny how we all mentioned that in our comments. Big hug your way as well.

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  19. Big hugs to you and I am a grandma of two and I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't see my daughter and grandkids whenever I wanted.

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  20. Awww Shannon, I completely feel your pain. I hope you had a lovely last day with them. Massive virtual hug for you x I live in the UK and my mum and dad live in Australia. Mum came to visit in June for a month and Dad is here for the month of October. I had last seen them both when my youngest was born at the end of 2010...too too long to go without seeing them. Dad is due to go home to Australia on Sunday and I've already started crying about it. Annie Claire is right, the best thing to do is to have a proper, booked plan for when you are going to see each other next. It really helps. Now, there are only a few days left with dad, so I'd better chivvy him along so we can go out with the girls for the day!

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    1. Thanks so much hun! enjoy your Dad! That's so amazing that you got to have them each for a month! I know you will cherish it. And here's hoping your see you later is a see you soon too :) Hugs!

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  21. I totally understand as my family lives in seperate continents right now. What do we do to keep in touch? Email, Facebook, phonecalls (with speaker phone and all the kiddos trying to talk at once) ... and my sisters and my mom and I share a blog. It makes us feel like we are doing something together.

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  22. Oh my gosh! This is why I love your blog! I am feeling this way so much right now. I'm from the east coast but living in CA and I miss my family so much right now. Fall is always the worst!

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    1. I hope you get to see them really soon! Thanks for the kind words about the blog too. Hugs.

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  23. Iknow what you are feeling, specially this first week. I'm in Canada a year now. My in laws trip in June for a month and my mom come for sixweeks in September, and I miss them so much.
    I remember everyday when i go to school for my oldest kid and comeback my mom was in the window with my baby waiting for us. Now i look waiting to see her but she is not of course.
    I hope you can see him soon again. Best Wishes for you

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    1. Awwww...I hope you get to see your Mom in the window again soon. Thanks for sharing your comment. Big hugs your way.

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  24. Hugs, Hugs, Hugs! I know how hard it is to say goodbye to the ones we love so dearly even if it's just for a little while xx

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  25. I feel the same way about seeing my parents-in-law -- we can only get together 3-4 times a year -- and my brother-in-law and his wife, who we see once a year at the most. Thankfully we bought a house four years ago with my parents. At the time, it was the only way that any of us could afford to own our own home, but it's turned out to be so much more than that. Though living together has it's own set of challenges and need for compromise, it has been such a blessing for my girls to grow up with Grampa and Nana in our home, and I have been so grateful to have a husband who (shockingly enough) enjoys living with his parents-in-law. My mom and dad have always been at the top of my best friends list, and it's still wonderful to share their company every day.

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  26. my best friend sent me to your blog to read this post today. i'm so thankful she did. you completely captured how i feel with my own parents and kids (and the close relationship that they have).

    i live in orlando, florida and my family is in cincinnati, ohio. i am lucky enough to have a house in both places so we can go back and forth. we live during the school year in our florida home and make trips to our cincinnati home for halloween, christmas, and for the summer. to most people i share that with, it seems like the perfect set up and quite glamourous. on paper, it is. however, when we leave ohio (which is where i am originally from) i am ALWAYS rocked with feeling of deep sadness and honestly outright depression. i've ALWAYS felt terribly guilty for this and have felt bad about myself. knowing that i've been blessed with so much, but still feeling so upset, makes me sometimes feel like i am crazy.

    i am bookmarking this blog post, because it absolutely validated my feelings and proved to me that i am not alone in my genuine love of family (grandparents especially) and also that it is OK to cry and be sad. life IS hard and loving people often hurts (even if it's in a good way!)

    thank you for having the courage to write this post. i sincerely appreciate it!

    christy reynolds

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    1. Awwww...thank you so much for your sweet comment Christy. That is so nice of you to say. It is totally normal to feel that way. I feel it everytime my folks leave. It never gets easier in fact I find the older my kids get the harder it is because it's not just me grieving when they leave but they do as well and it's sad and hard. But there are a lot of us out there and like some of the readers said a) at least our parents are awesome and b) we still have them here. I try to remember those kids of tips when told to me and write them in a special place to look at when I get down after the next visit :) I hope you'll come visit the blog the next time you feel that way. We'll cheer ya up :)

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  27. It sounds lie you have so much to be grateful for with parents like that. better to have great parents you see a little than sos o ones you see a lot!

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