(ok, it's hard to capture on camera, but harper has the longest eyelashes i have ever seen on a baby. i keep wiping her eye thinking she has a hair stuck to it, but nope, it's the long eyelashes...she's a lucky lady)proud daddy..................
and we can't forget about big sister.............
and i would show you pics of myself but that ain't happening...hahaha. i look like something a dog upchucked a few times and then jumped around in...it's nasty. you don't want to see it - trust me. i seriously think i could just jump right into a twilight movie and be part of the cullen family i am so pale from the drop in my iron, plus, why didn't anyone worn us moms that when you have a c-section you are left with this horrible overhang??? WTF?? what is that?
i seriously freak out every time i look at myself in the mirror...and yes, i know i have a beautiful baby now and trust me when i say i am overjoyed with my baby, but why the overhang??? isn't it bad enough we are in pain, bleeding, lactating and seriously lacking in sleep? ok...i'm whining, i know. i never thought i would be able to have kids so i am truly blessed and very thankful, but i am not thankful for another surgery to add to my messy medical history, another horrible recovery, another nasty scar...and of course, the overhang :) i'm moving on now, or at least i'm going to attempt to (there may be future posts/rants though..haha).
thank you for all your kind words, comments, emails and parcels - you are all soooo sweet! it truly means a lot to us. it's been a tough few weeks for me and i'm still not feelin that great and we are on week 3. yep, week 3! my harper is 3 weeks old today...ummmm, i think time flew by even faster than with the first baby. did michael j. fox come visit me and time warp my life a bit cause it sure feels like it.
harper is doing fabulous (not to brag) and is weighing (on tuesday) 9lbs 6 1/2 oz and eating like a champ. she's been living up to her name and we swear she sings in her sleep. she makes these noises that are notes that are so on pitch i just know she is going to be musically inclined. she's been great and i just love her to bits and think she is, of course, the most gorgeous baby girl ever, thus my long post of pics of her....i know y'all wanted to see her right? of course you did..hahaha.
i will end this now though, and i promise to keep my c-section rants to a minimum but in the meantime all you ladies out there with tips on how to get by when the help is gone and you are still gibbled and not feeling great with a toddler and a new baby at home your advice would be sooooo very welcome at the moment :) please share your wisdom with me below...please...haha.
all images copyright luvinthemommyhood
I had mine 26 and 23 years ago. I did what I could when I could the best way I could. Rest is a premium, and when a firstborn won't, encourage her to have quiet time in her room IN her bed. She can "read books," listen to audio stories, play with dolls in bed. Resting and rising early were key to family sanity. Good daddies do their best, but they're only human, too. During this short-lived season, resist temptation to be perfect. "This too shall pass," and boy does it zoom by!
ReplyDeleteCan I add here a vital tip? Do something special for your man everyday, even if all you can rustle up is a Post-It love note and store-bought cookies. Little things say, "You're not the low man on the priority list."
ReplyDeleteShe is gooooorgeous, congratulations!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!! She is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteIn a few weeks you'll be back to your old self and will have this as a memory. Those kids take a lot out of us and our bodies too. Baby looks great mama so you are doing something right even though you're exhausted. Rest up. Have a great weekend.
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm so sorry to hear that you are having a hard time! I wish I had advice about having a newborn and a preschooler, but I am still recovering from having a newborn and a 19 month old and that was 19 months ago! My advice is to try to recruit a friend to take your three year old out for a little while, or get a babysitter for a couple of hours maybe? It's exhausting, I know.
ReplyDeleteAs for the overhang? I have it and I've never had a c-section. It's just not fair is it?
Oh, and if you can, get some "Floradix Iron+ herbs" from the health food store (or online) and start taking it. It's wonderful and will help get your iron back up and your energy going.
Hope you start feeling better soon!
Jenny
Oh, I forgot to say how amazing the pictures are! She is beautiful! Worth it all, isn't she?
ReplyDeleteBeautiful pictures! So Sweet! I know all too well how hard it is to recover from a c-section. Unfortunately I have had 3 of them, UGH! The overhang goes away, I promise! The scaring too will fade. It takes me about 6 weeks to feel "normal" again, so hang in there. Taking care of a newborn and a toddler is tricky. I find my hardest times are when Im nursing. So when the baby needs milk that becomes their snack time too. And when all else fails I turn on a movie. I also give them little "chores" so they can help with the baby. At first its a lot of work for you, but in a few days it becomes their job and it starts to help you out. Plus, they feel involved and special to help you. Its all about survival at this point and you have to do what you can to get by. I just had 3 kids in 3 years and Im still working at it. There are days on end when I stay in my pjs, cook last minute meals, and pile up the laundry for another day. I get out of the house to play with the kids all the time, but make up excusess for not having enough time to grocery shop. I sew instead of sleep, and live off coffee. My hair is horrible and needs to be washed. This is my life! I wont judge you, trust me! Hang in there. Rant all you want about c-sections, talking is the best therapy.
ReplyDeleteShe is so BEAUTIFUL! She looks so healthy and nice and chubby. Love the picture of her yawning and the one with her eyes wide open. I'm so sorry you are feeling lousy. I remember after my first I thought, "Why didn't anyone tell me how hard it is after you have the baby?!" Try to have some quiet time every day. If all else fails have Mack watch a little bit of cartoons. I know, TV is not a babysitter, but Mommy needs her rest! The advice on enlisting a friend to take her for a while is golden. It's much easier to rest when you know she isn't roaming around the house getting into stuff. I hope you feel better soon! I'm down to about 3 1/2 weeks, can't wait to get this baby out!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! She is so beautiful! Congrats again. You have a beautiful family.
ReplyDeleteI made myself a MOBY wrap. It literally saved my sanity many times over. They are simple to make and so so useful. You can hold baby and hold your toddler, do dishes, make dinner, whatever and you've got both hands free. Otherwise, it's just going to take time to adjust. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on beautiful Harper! I have a 9 month old Harper. And an almost 3 year old who decided to give up his nap about 1 month after his sister arrived! Once the help is gone, hire some if you can! I have someone come for 4 hours once a week and it's been my sanity for surviving being home full-time with my 2. Other than that, just remember it's early days and it gets easier once the little ones become more predictable. Once our Harper started having regular naps and I was out of the fog I found we all adjusted. And get out when you can. It's been my survival plan with my toddler. And let your place be a total mess, eat simple etc. You'll catch your stride with 2 in no time.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your new baby bundle!! She is darling! I know what you mean about C-section overhand and the yuckiness of recovery. I have had 4 babies via C-section and it was harder to recover each time, especially with little ones all around running right into your incision-yeeeouch! I started wrapping a tensor bandage around my abdomen and incision to help with the overhand and protect it a bit. And supposely Brooke Burke did that after every baby...but my tummy isn't stretchmark free and anything close to what it was like pre-baby(haha). Just make sure to take it off from time to time and let your skin breath.
ReplyDeleteGood luck, and rest when you can! :)
Congrats Shannon!! Harper is absolutely gorgeous! You have a very beautiful family!
ReplyDeleteHarper is beautiful! My daughter was 12 months and 3days old when my son was born! And it was super hard sometimes but now she's 18 mos and he's 6 mos and it's SO much easier! Those first couple of months are rough though! It just took a little time to adjust ... and we still have our moments. Now ask me again when he starts crawling and walking and I might be a crazy person!!! ha ha. But hang in there!!! They are alllll worth it ... even the over hang. ha ha.
ReplyDeleteYour family is so beautiful!
ReplyDeleteOh my, Beautiful. Both of them. How do you bare to put her down?
ReplyDeleteMy tips. Hmmmmmm.
Well I recall about two weeks after I had baby #2 the hubbs went back to work with a heavy workload. He was hardly ever home. I had to start with a schedule. I had to be okay with my 2 year old watching a couple more shows than I would normally let him, I had to be okay with serving him grilled cheese for dinner, I had a come-to moment with the hubbs letting him know that he was in charge of the groceries for the next few months, all he had to do was call me on his way home from work and I would tell him what to get. Yes, I know he just spent a long day at work and was tired, but I was too, and I needed help.
I don't do well with naps, so I would tell you to sleep when she does, but anyone with a toddler and baby knows that is not going to happen anyways!
We would take a blanket outside and lay around while he played. I could throw the ball while he ran to kick it. We started puzzles about then and he still love them.
My last bit of advice, do what you can and let the rest go. Your house may look like a bomb went off, your toddler may start reciting Dora word for word, but it is only temporary. Give it a few months and it will all be back to normal. Somewhat!
And your right, it goes much much faster...so let the house go for now and soak it up!
Sorry for the novel :) I just hope you have a chance to rest and enjoy.
I know what it is like to feel a little overwhelmed and hope that people didn't think I was ungrateful, because your not.
It will get better!!
luvs~n~hugs!
I'd say looking at those beautiful pictures every day is a good start. Such a sweet family! Hang in there!! Everyone else is offering great advice. Just rest as much as you can.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had some handy advice for you but all I can say is WOW what a beautiful little family you have! The photos are just gorgeous :)
ReplyDelete(I'll be reading everyone elses suggestions as we too would like to add another bundle and I have no idea how to wrangle a newborn and toddler together!)
Do you have Vitamin E tablets? They will help you heal a bit faster. :)
oh Shan.... gorgeous pics... I am going to call everyday if I have to to check on you :) AND I am here... let me help! As for balance...Somehow you figure out what works for you and how to do it! TV shows work for nursing times. And when you can your snuggli will be your best friend. As for being gibbled I am sorry I can't help there... but I am here any time you need to vent.
ReplyDeleteHUGS
Try being 41...and having a C-Section. I also gained a TON of weight that I never did with my others. (last time I did this was 12 yrs ago). I still whine almost daily about my overhang and flab...and the little guy is almost 5 months old. He still only breastfeeds, so I am starving all the time!!
ReplyDeleteHope your pooch loss does better. No matter...she (both your daughters) are adorable. And it's all worth it, huh?
She is a sweetie!
ReplyDeleteAs for the settling in period with 2 kids, I agree that it is really tough. My advice is to be kind to yourself! There will be time one day to wash your hair, get some exercise and your brain will get sharper again. This is a phase, and will not last forever- there are nice things in this phase too (as you know), try and focus on those for the time being! (I am giving myself this advice too as I wait for my 3rd to arrive in September! I am going to try really hard to take life at an easy pace and go with the flow. Easier said than done, huh!)
So beautiful! I'm glad to hear that it's faster with the second one. I was absolutely sure I wouldn't survive to see my son turn a month old, and here he is almost 3 months later, and I have no idea where the time went.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I had a c-section, and was considered in fantastic shape. I'm back to my pre-baby weight and then some, but I STILL have an overhang. It's the price us hot mommies pay.
I just had my 2nd (unwanted) c-section in December and my gross overhang has shrunk itself back to "normal" (what I accept as normal has honestly changed...) by about 5 or 6 months. I don't exercise much, but constantly breastfeeding a toddler and infant might be part of it. :) Anyway, I think you'll be back to feeling yourself in time. Beautiful girls you have there!!! :)
ReplyDeleteThe life saver for me was the parenting literacy drop in centre. It is sponsored by the Ontario Gov't. It's a place for families to drop in and play for free. there's circle time, snacks, mothers of all stages and fathers and the older kids get to play with their friends. It's almost like a kindergarten class setup in terms of stations and toys. You should see if there is anything in your neighbourhood.
ReplyDeleteThe key is to keep the toddler happy so that you can focus on the wee one. That is the hardest of all.
All the best to you on this ever changing, difficult, lovely journey!
OMG the cuteness in this post is about to make me exploded!! Your family is so gorgeous well done mama! What a perfect little one you have created and her name is so beautiful :)
ReplyDeleteSuch wonderful advise above I am with kelley on the rest time. I gave up on my oldest having a rest when little bro was a babe as he was refusing and having tantrums and it was a nightmare when arsenic hour wound around at night. I now have a rest period just like kelley and it is soooooo bloody awesome :)
Any kind of wrap or sling will save your sanity a whole bunch I am a huge fan just like Sam:)
not many tips about what to do when your all alone.... just make no plans for the first week, cut yourself some slack on most of the day to day crap and hang on by your fingernails cause it might feel bumpy for awhile.
Just know your not alone you can debrief via email whenever you like :)
Well when my daughter was born(our 2nd), it was a lot harder to handle-emotionally as well as physically. Our son had a hard time adjusting to having to share "his" time with someone else. At one point he told us that he wished he didn't have a sister. It was so sad to hear, but frustrating at the same time. Anyways, once she started to smile all that went away. He was in love with her! Now they get along so great. As my husband went back to work we hired a college age friend to hang out with our oldest. This went on until our daughter was 5mths. He would come twice a week for a couple of hours and they would play video games, go to the park or whatever. I think it helped our son not be so needy to us because he had someone to connect to. So key point here is to get some help with a little of everything. It will be less draining on you. My daughter is 10 mths now and things are so much better. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteOooh what beautiful little girl!!!
ReplyDeleteSorry you are feeling so rotten...the upside is that it can only get better ;)
My two best "get through the newborn stage" tips are:
#1. Sleep EVERY day (during the day) even if you don't really sleep, lie down on the couch with your eyes shut and do nothing. SO GOOD!! The big kids will get used to it after a week or so and stop jumping over you!!
#2. Make dinner as soon as you can in the morning. Cut everything up ready to cook or pop something in the slow cooker or make something and put it in the fridge until night time...then all you have to do is heat and serve - makes evening times much more bearable.
Take care - chin up, things will be better soon :)
xxx
Ok, first off, you guys seriously rock! Thank you so much for all the wonderful advice! I will be using all of it!
ReplyDeleteI think the hardest thing for me so far is just my recovery. I'm still in pain and very sore so getting through the day is still rough for me and of course, I'm tired...haha. If only I could get my body to catch up with my mind that would help everything fall into place.
It was my first day alone the whole day with the two girls yesterday and I was sick to boot so it was a rough day but your guys comments helped me fight through - so thank you.
Big hugs to all of you and I'm so happy to hear I'm not the only one dealing with these issues and of course, the dreaded OVERHANG - YUCK!
So as a mother to five precious babies the oldest being 6.75 and the youngest is almost 11 weeks there is only three things that I can say helps me out.
ReplyDelete1) PRAY- I can't do anything without my faith in Jesus
2) Lower Expectations - seriously, set that bar so stinking low that everyday you accomplish something. Really, say I will eat today or I will cuddle with my baby super easy and possible and you will feel so much better knowing you actually did something
3) Laugh- really humor is the only thing that keeps me going. When my boys (I do have one girl) are laughing I force myself to smile, which turns into a small giggle which turns into a full roaring laugh. Totally healing.
Prayers and Good Luck
I love the pictures!!! Harper is beautiful, Congratulations!!! I can't wait to see you all soon and meet her in person :) Take care of yourself and I hope the rest of your recovery goes well!!!
ReplyDeletep.s. the overhang sucks!!! ;)
Such beautiful kids you have! I have four kids already and another one due in about 7 weeks. I never had a lot of help except from my wonderful hubby, but I can tell you that it's perfectly normal and ok to feel frazzled when you're not getting much help. What helped me the most (aside from the usual stuff like sleeping when they sleep) was just to stay as positive as I could. I always try to remind myself that I'm doing the best I can. Every day can't be a fantastic day but still our lives continue to be more and more wonderful, so something's working! I didn't have a c-section but I did get the "overhang" especially after baby #4. My boobs disappeared completely after all that breast feeding. They only show up when I'm pregnant and breastfeeding. If you put a dollar a day into a jar you'll have more than enough for a discreet nip or tuck (or in my case an inflation!!) by the time you're done having kids.
ReplyDeleteBut don't worry about anything. Those girls are beautiful so you must be too. Life is good :)
I had a 2-1/2 year old when my son was born by emergency c-section, so I get it. :)
ReplyDeleteC-sections are weird... they say walking helps, but they say to rest. So, walk every day... get outside, the sun will help you with any post-pardum you might have. (Everyone has some with the drop of hormones and the splash of new ones with breastfeeding.) That said, don't lift, don't stand too long, don't bend over to pick things up. :)
Also, another tip someone gave to me was to buy some underwear girdle type things. Sounds ridiculous... but it feels so much better to have everything tucked in. That way it's not moving around and causing more pain. (Kohl's has some non-granny looking ones.) Oh, and don't try to wear regular jeans for a while... it just rubs in the wrong place.
I have sympathy for you, but I'm so glad that you were able to have a c-section so that your child is healthy and well.
they are both so adorable. All I can say about advice is that I remember my youngest being about 6 weeks old when things seemed to finally settle down. But then again, they always love to throw in a curve ball. Definitely rest when you can. :)
ReplyDeleteAh, this too shall pass! I had my c-sec 11 years ago (with 3 subsequent v-bac deliveries). The overhang is still there, but much deflated. I can't suck it in so I tuck it in. ;0). My four kids are each about 2 years apart ("baby" is five now, hallelujah. lol), so I remember the exhaustion WELL.
ReplyDeleteAs someone else mentioned, LOWER your expectations. I look back now at what I thought I should get done in a day and it was a total joke. The day WILL come when your youngest tots off to kindergarten and you'll have plenty of time to clean the house and cook gourmet meals. For now, survive, survive, survive. No one died from eating cereal for dinner 3 nights a week, and frozen pizza the other four. This.too.shall.pass.
As for healing: sunshine, rest, lots of fruit, water, lean protein. Peanut M&Ms are helpful too.
Body: Don't look. For now. Survive and worry about recovering your tum another day. Kindergarten is just a few short (really, SHORT!) years away.
Bravo Mama!!! The kiddos are adorable :) I know your pain, as my darling 2nd daughter is almost 4 weeks old and darling 1st daughter is almost 3 years. This was c-section #2 (after trying for a vbac). The overhang is a bummer, but it does go away. I had help from the hubby for a few weeks, but we're on our own now as the Mr. is back at work. To get by, my standards are certainly much lower. I eat as well as I can, and offer the best I can to my older daughter at each meal. I plan meals ahead of time with hubby's help and ask him to do the grocery shopping. I try to walk everyday, even if I'm just taking laps around the house. I live on coffee and 6 hours of sleep in 2-3hr chunks.
ReplyDeleteCongrats again!!
I have had 4 c-sections and now sport a fabulous overhang. But I have seen a select few who have had c-sections and are flat as a board. I try not to look at them.
ReplyDeleteI have also had a d & c after which I suffered massive loss of blood. The doctor considered giving me a blood transfusion but I guess I ended up being just barely in the ok range. For two weeks I felt I couldn't walk in a straight line or lift my arms over my head without getting light headed. The month after that was rough. I would get up in the morning, get my two older girls to school, come back with girl #3 on tow and feel like I desperately needed to go back to bed. I can imagine that having a baby to take care of on top of that would be very hard. Just give yourself time to recover, a c-section and low iron are slow healing. A month is what usually takes to feel somewhat normal and mobile again. Add a couple more weeks to get your iron back in place. Patience.
Praise yourself for every little thing you accomplish in the day, even if it's just showering and managing to keep all of you alive. Take all the help you can get and forget about your house being messy.
Like I said, I have 4 girls all delivered via c-section. I am living proof that there is light at the end of the tunnel and you will have 2 gorgeous girls to enjoy all throughout your journey.
By the way, Harper is absolutely gorgeous. Congratulations.
Great lookin' kids! Congrats on such a beautiful chubby baby! My advice is stay hydrated, lots of playdough, and frozen microwave dinners. Eat'em for lunch too. Don't let yourself get hungry (or thirsty), makes your hormones go wacky.
ReplyDeleteYou have a beautiful family! Harper is gorgeous! Great job making cute kids:).
ReplyDeleteMy second was a c-section and IT IS SO HARD! I also had an 18 month old, so life was seriously nuts. No one can prepare you for the pain and crazy mending your body has to do. It is so hard because everything else aches. And you have to take care of a newborn and another kid! Just so so hard.
My third was also a c-section after trying to not have one, but she's here, and I feel great now. It seems to take about 4 months to start feeling pretty good.
I wish I had some awesome advice. I felt really lonely even though I had some family around at times. It was a rough little while after my second! But like someone else said, prayer is great, and trying to get out of the house at that yucky time in the afternoon when the baby blues always seem to hit! I read a lot with my first one while nursing. It's just plain hard, but like others have said, it will get easier!!! Hang in there as well as you can! My thoughts are with you!
Congrats on your new baby girl! You have two so beautiful looking girls!!
ReplyDeleteAnd as so many others said: get as much rest as possible - even during the day. AND don't do too much of that homework!!
Avoid to have too often guests, all those grandparents and uncles and aunts and friends and even more friends, yes they want to see that new baby..but it forces you to clean up and bake a cake or prepare a 'meal' instead an easy and fast dinner.They can come in a month and bring something to eat and take out your toddler girl to the playground for 2 hours.
Having an hour or two just for you and the little one is heavenly!
I had my second baby 7 weeks ago, luckily no c-section this time like 3 years ago, but anyway...I know how endless tired and worn out you feel afterwards. It took me around 5-6 weeks until I felt much better. the after c-section overhang totally diapered, really!
Luckily my parents come once a week to pick up my 3 year old for an entire day. yay!Oh and he loves this a lot, because it's all about him an entire day long!!Maybe you have someone who can do that with your girl too?!
Hubby and me felt so terrible tired after the first two weeks that we changed our schedule: we go to bed at 8-9pm with the both boys. esp the early going to bed makes me feel like a 'human' again..try it even when it means that you can't sew, watch tv or doing homework after the kids fell asleep..this can be done later, but sleep is sooo essential! And like my midwife always says: "Don't forget that it is called childBED"
Wising you good luck and a speedy recovery,
Jule in Germany