one of the most important things that my hubby and i have instilled in our marriage since having mackenzie is date night. it sounds sad, i know, to book a date with your husband, but when you have busy schedules and little ones running around it's an important factor in keeping that relationship outside of your children alive.
we try to have date night once a month. it doesn't always work out as planned and we have had many adventures (good and bad) on our date nights, but we always find the time. date night doesn't have to be on the weekend or at night either. we try to work them in around my sister's schedule, who we are lucky enough to have watch mack for us, and we enjoy going out together, sans baby, no matter what the day or time. the important thing is we are out, alone, together, with NO BABY! find a time that works for you. once a week, twice a month, every second month, it doesn't matter, finding the time to spend together is what does.
if that sounds mean to some of you, i'm sorry. i am a stay at home mom and sometimes that date night is the only time out of the entire month, yes, the entire month that i get a few hours without my child. it would drive any sane mom to the brink. i need that time, as much as i love my daughter, to be me, not mommy for a few hours. to feel attractive and fun, and to have a decent adult conversation with the love of my life not about mack's bowels or sleep habits - as interesting as those can be.
we have a rule on our date nights. we don't talk about mackenzie. it's hard, trust me on that one. have you ever tried to go for a few hours without talking about your kids? it's pretty tricky and we don't always pull it off, but we try. she is, after all, a huge part of our lives, but so are my husband and i to each other. i find that sometimes it is about putting value on your relationship as a couple as well as being good parents. we become so encompassed by pleasing our children and trying to excel at being good moms and dads that we forget to be good husbands and wives alone as well. it takes work to make a marriage healthy and strong. the word work might turn you off, but that's what it is. we work at everything we do. staying healthy, happy, keeping our homes tidy, pleasing our children, our hobbies, our gardens, so why not our relationships with our partners?
just give it a shot, sit down and broach the subject with your loved one the next time you have 30 seconds before falling asleep exhausted and see what their reaction is. odds are they will be thrilled with the idea of not seeing you in your sweatpants and nagging about helping out around the house and about getting some time alone with you. find something you both enjoy doing and go do it. it doesn't have to be the typical date either, you don't have to go see a movie. our next date is to go play tennis and have a picnic at the beach. sound romantic to you? maybe not, but to us it's heaven.....and we will relish every precious minute of it.
do you have date night with your partner? what's your favorite date activity? we would love to hear about it! share your thoughts :)
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
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Great post! And cute pic of you two. I agree. Date night are a MUST. We swap babysitting with friends every other week (unless conflicts come up) so we get a date night every few week or so.
ReplyDeleteOften we go to dinner. We love seeing an indie film. But funny you should mention tennis.....we were thinking that would be a fun date night too! We just need a warmer evening.
I'm glad you guys take time for YOU.
okay, 1) of course you deserve some time without your babe! how could anyone think that is mean? 2) the more kids you have, the harder this gets and the more important this is so keep at it for sure! 3) you and your husband are so cute!! i bet you get this all the time, but you look like sister and brother- i have noticed that this happens with a lot of couples- including me and my man. i guess we're often drawn to the similar...
ReplyDeletelike your blog, just discovered it through Whip Up- love your toddler pants from a dress shirt.
so funny! i am just catching up on your blog and i coincidentally posted about date night this week, too!
ReplyDeletenicola
http://whichname.blogspot.com
I definitely agree that date night is a must. My husband and I try to have at least two a month, but it doesn't always end up that way.
ReplyDelete